Finance Humor

Levity is the soul of financial eloquence. Some brilliantly humorous definitions of financial terms.

A bit of humor amid the financial insanity” from Sovereign Man.

Apple’s Steve Jobs Quits, AAPL Dips

Steve Jobs has quit as the CEO of Apple Inc (AAPL). His letter read:

To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.

I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.

I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve

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Cognitive Computing – Computers Thinking like Human Brains

IBM has developed a microprocessor capable of figuratively “rewiring” its connections as it encounters new information, similar to how biological synapses work, thereby emulating the human brain. That is how the system could learn, rather than be programmed.

Synaptic connections between brain cells physically connect themselves depending on experiences. The process of learning is essentially the forming and strengthening of these connections. A computer can simulate such a system by paying more “attention” to important inputs, and paying less attention to others.

Also, the human brain can perform complex tasks rapidly and accurately using “as much energy as a 20 watt light bulb in a space equivalent to a 2 liter soda bottle”.

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We All Fall Down – Stock Markets Tumble

Stocks markets in the US, Europe, South America and the Asia-Pacific are all tumbling, fueled by fears of a global recession.

The outlook for global economic growth appears dim, due to bad news from a number of fronts. In the US, factory activity in the Mid-Atlantic region fell, while US home sales unexpectedly fell in July and new claims for jobless benefits grew more than expected. In Europe, fears that the debt crisis could infect the region’s financial system resurfaced, also US federal and state regulators’ scrutiny of the US arms of Europe’s banks and some European banks’ higher interest rates for US dollar loans, led to worries about spillover of Europe’s debt crisis into the US banking system. The decreasing global consumer demand and markets contagion led to other markets’ falls.

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Who’s On Google+ : Innovators & Early Adopters, also Bangladeshis

Who’s on Google+?

According to Experian Hitwise, the social network has seen an accelerated lifecycle transition as innovators make way for early adopters and mainstream users, just six weeks into the launch of the network.

Initially, young singles and recent college graduates, or “Colleges and Cafés”, had taken to Google+, their usage peaking at three weeks. Now, as these innovators decrease their frequency of visits, “Status Seeking Singles”, the early adopters continue to make up a large part of the userbase, along with “Kids and Cabernet”, described as prosperous, middle-aged married couples living child-focused lives in affluent suburbs. According to Experian, this “Kids and Cabernet” group is the first sign of Google+ adoption by mainstream users.

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Mobile Users Get Smarter (Phones)! Apple & Android Rise, Nokia Falls

According to a recent report by Gartner Inc., sales of smartphones were up 74% year-on-year, accounting for 25% of overall sales of mobile devices in Q2, 2011, up from 17% in Q2, 2010.

Having led smartphone sales over the last five years, Nokia is set to lose its top spot as the largest seller of smartphone in Q3, 2011, according to Gartner. These are in terms of smartphone sales to end users. In terms of shipments to vendors, Nokia has already lost the top spot to Apple (and the 2nd place Samsung), according to research firms Strategy Analytics and IDC Research.

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